Heaven Help Us All.

So here's the deal. I like to make fun of society a lot... You know, how no one seems to be capable of 3rd grade grammar, or the frequent absurdity of Facebook, or even just folk in the mall... It's not an uncommon thing for me to mock society in general, but for the most part it's just all in good fun. I'm just making a joke at the expense of a few, and I don't really believe society as a whole is irredeemable.

But after what I heard today...

If this is even just kind of true...

Well, then I just won't know what to say anymore.

You see... I heard/read somewhere that they are thinking of remaking Back to the Future.

No.

Just no.

This is not something you do.

If you think I'm over-exaggerating, then I'm going to go ahead and guess that you either haven't seen Back to the Future in awhile, or you're just too young to have ever seen it in the first place. So if this describes you, and you think I'm just waxing nostalgic, go find a copy and watch it.

Go ahead... I'll wait right here. You'll come back and thank me for reminding you about/introducing you to such an absolutely phenomenal and vital film in our modern cultural history.

Now many studios lately seem to have proven they have no souls, and will schill anything for a buck, so I might be willing to not fly entirely off the handle at the notion of a Back to the Future remake, but they just had to push it too far...

Who, might you ask, is rumored to play the part of our dear Marty McFly?

Justin Bieber.

I'm not making this up. I certainly pray that someone else is making this up, but I am not.

Now if you'll need me, I'll just be under a rock hiding from the imminent remakes of The Goonies with Zac Efron, and The Princess Bride with Miley Cyrus and some other Disney Channel fool I don't know or care about.